And we’re back. It’s been another week and here we are once again, thinking about how to take the pieces of ourselves that are out of place and put them were they belong. It’s a tough task, but together we will figure it out, even if it takes a lifetime.

So, what’s it going to be this time, you might be thinking. Well, by the title you might be able to guess at what it is.

That’s it, plain old simple nerves and anxiousness. That damn scoundrel that robs you of all your confidence and competence, usually only ever in front of other people too. It makes you feel so small… what a drag.

Now, lets murder nervousness and commit a hate crime against anxiety. You ready?

Okay, when you feel that sense of nervousness starting to take control of your body. Usual signs are: sweaty hands, increased heart rate, ears start burning red among others symptoms, that’s when you take the following steps.

1. Ask yourself, “will this matter in 5 years?”, this isn’t a yes or no type of question, I mean unless you want it to be, but you can give answers like “Not really, no” or others that fit
2. Next, make yourself aware of five things in your environment, these could be birds chirping in the distance, the sound of cars on the street below, the flickering of the overhanging light, the tap of a pen on a table or a chair maybe. It can be anything, just make yourself aware of it, by acknowledging that it exists.
3. Lastly, say this line “without the self, there is nothing to worry about”. This mean that your nervousness and anxiety is caused by you thinking about yourself, and how could it not be. You are playing out the worst case scenarios about yourself in your mind. “Like if I screw up this presentation, what will my boss think of me? what will my coworkers think? Everyone’s going to laugh at me, what if I lose my job?” that worrying goes on forever, but it is always about you. So, this saying reminds you that if you remove your thinking from yourself, and instead towards the environment you find yourself, then worry fade away.

Story time, Yay!!! So, recently I was doing a presentation to one of the important leaders in my department, her name is Lee, she was a clinical doctor but became a statistician later in her career. I don’t have a beef with her, but I get the vague sense she doesn’t like me. When I did my presentation I felt the palms of my hands go sweaty and my ears started to flare up (I mean it didn’t help that seven people were in a small meeting room with no air conditioning but nonetheless). I could feel the corrosive feeling that anxiety leaves inside of you, dissolving me from the inside out.

In response I did my classic 3 questions. 1. Are you at ease? 2. Are you currently present? 3. I wonder what my next thought will be? These did slow down the effect of nervousness but it wasn’t enough. I forgot to use the technique I taught you today, which would have definitely helped more. Next time something like that happens, I’m going to be using today’s lesson to calm myself down.

I know you might be thinking, well if your other technique didn’t work fully, then why even use it at all. The answer is this, yes it didn’t completely work, but it did slow the whole negative process down; that could give me the presence of mind to use today’s technique. And it is important to remember that no single technique will work in every situation, and some are more effective than others depending on the circumstances. Life requires you to experiment with what techniques work in diverse scenarios, and sometimes one technique is not enough, a combination of skills and techniques might be the only way to overcome the challenge.

Our goal here is to give you all the tools and skills you could ask for.

That’s it for today, if you have any questions that you would like me to answer, send it to me.

Deuces to my Hedites.