What up, I’ve come across something that I thought was very interesting and want to share it with you. It’s an idea that comes from a thing known as Real Social Dynamics (RSD).

I must admit that I haven’t looked too much into Real Social Dynamics stuff. But one part of it that I came across which I believe to be true, is that we are the ones that decide how others will behave around us.

Apparently this is one of key points of RSD, it states that people will greatly infer how to interact with you based on the signals you send out. I could have probably done a better job explaining it but I think an example is most likely the best way to get it. So, think back maybe to a time in your life or just imagine a social gathering like a party of some sort.

Now, have you ever seen someone like this before? They will be standing off to the side by themselves, away from most other people; they have this vacant expression on their face; occasionally they will look in one direction then turn towards another before looking down at their feet, never actually daring to look someone in the eyes, even if at a distance.

You probably have someone just like that before, if not, probably something close to it. Now, that begs the question; after seeing that person, would you want to go talk to them? The answer I can state with 99.99% accuracy is no. But why is that? Well, they have subconsciously told everything not to go talk them, that’s why.

You could take each single descriptor I used in my example and say that that alone isn’t enough, and I would tend to agree. But nothing in this universe operates in isolation. In that scenario, it is the combination of factors which makes that person unappealing to interact with.

If looking unappealing to talk to because you look sad and lonely is what you’re going for, then sure thing, go for it. But I don’t think most people want to be perceived that way.

One could argue that some people are more extroverted and others introverted and that changes people’s tendencies. Once again I agree with that too, in fact I would say that I am more on the introverted side myself. However, that doesn’t give me any excuse, to expect people to want to interact with me when I’m coming in with vibes like that, that’s crazy.

Wow, I just realised that I started to go too in depth with that one example. Well, at least you get the message now. What I’m trying to say is that in every social environment, whether that be amongst friends, family, co-workers or anyone else. You can take the initiative to either set boundaries or opt to open up those boundaries. It just depends on how you carry yourself on the way in to the interaction.

Don’t get me wrong, this is an incredibly basic run down. I will be looking into stuff some more and then I’ll come and report my findings to all of you.

Until next time my Hedites.