The Secret of Happiness

So once again another week has past and here we are. What a wonderful thing that is, we made it to this point. I mean you look at the news or what’s on social media and it seems to be a concoction of self-hatred masked by the pursuit of external things; things such as cars, money, status, looks, the ‘right’ set of friends, drugs and the list goes on. The other major factor that seems to get whirled into the mixture is a severe sense of dread and despondency in our cultural landscape. We are so lucky to have journalists in the employ of our society so that they can highlight the atrocities that occur on a far too frequent basis, but then they go on to rub dirt in our eyes by never letting us have a moment of respite from the endless negativity. My apologies, they do give us that moment, they sometimes show a cute service dog that joined the local police unit or a new set of twins who have just been born. What would we do without that momentary bliss? Hard to say really. 

But look, the point I’m trying to make is that the overwhelming majority of content you are exposed to on a daily basis makes you do one of two things. Firstly, it makes you compare yourself to others. And the second, is that it feeds the negativity that is already within you and makes it stronger, wow!!! It’s no wonder why you more than likely carry a deep feeling that you lack self-worth; it’s like the mass media and the resulting cultural consciousness wanted you to be that way.

Don’t worry I will go into how to combat this but I do want to cover how these two categories of effects work, and I’ll quickly relate this back to the end goal so you’re not completely lost. Pop quiz hot shot, can you create when you are held down by negativity? Imma say probably not. 

Let us continue then.

Comparisons… comparisons … comparisons… I hate comparisons, they are such a toxic element of the human psyche. Why? Well because through its very nature there must be a superior element and an inferior element. When you look through social media, and you see people living these apparently amazing lives, what happens; you internally think to yourself, “why aren’t I with them”… “Maybe if I was like them I could be happy too”. Then the inferior element comes in, this is where the human mind gets really creative. It starts to construct a story about why it isn’t living the life portrayed online or in ads, this story might originate all the way back to your childhood even. “If it only I had more money”, “If only I didn’t have this flabby arm fat”, “If my parents did/didn’t do (fill in the blank)”, “It’s all because my parents got divorced?”. Look the reasons are endless, and a lot of what you tell yourself is based off your own past and mindset. You need to stop torturing yourself, and it is possible to get rid of this never-ending comparison cycle; actually there are a couple ways. Read on.

So comparisons are one thing but the other category is blanket negativity. You could say that comparisons are a negative force and I would agree with you, but this is more of an impersonal kind of thing. When you look at some of the cold hard facts, life on earth is improving: we as a species are pulling more people out of absolute poverty each year than ever before, insights into medicine and nutrition have kept us living longer and more importantly healthier than any point in history. Think for a moment, if you live in the developed world, you can walk into a supermarket; this wonderful place where the food comes in all shapes and sizes and is always stocked and available. How insane is that, anything over a hundred years ago, that concept would seem unimaginable. But then why when we turn on the news or glue ourselves to a black screen, do we always see negative content blasted at us. Because we like it, that’s why, it’s an addiction that pleases and disturbs us. The root cause of it all. Ego…

Ego, because it gives the mind something to stress about. Or it might be that you feel good knowing about something that you deem important, seeing that it is negative and therefore a potential danger. And knowing that while others don’t know, makes you feel superior for a moment; that damn comparison thing again. Another way might be the worry it causes; people love to worry about things, it makes them feel like everything they do is life or death, in other words important. The end result is that you don’t control where your mind is at and what emotions you feel. Instead they are injected into you, so let’s do something to combat this.

And I know you might be thinking, yeah but I already knew this was all happening to me. Yeah ok then, why haven’t you done anything about it then?

And your response will probably be, “Yeah I tried something once… and it didn’t solve all my problems right away, so I gave up”

No matter, we will walk this path together. So, listen up.

What’s really going wrong, is that you have become too identified with thought. Do you know that little voice in your head which constantly talks, we have talked about it before. Well, that is the white noise generated by the ego, and it loves the sound of its own voice. So, we need to kill it. How? Easy.

Anytime you come across anything that upsets you or causes any kind of negative reaction. Stop and ask yourself “Is it really what happened that made you feel unhappy or was it just your thoughts about it?”. So who cares that other people are living their quote “Best Lives!!!! xoxo” on a yacht or that the airbrushed person in an advertisement looks beautiful. Is it really those things themselves that are upsetting you or is it your thoughts about them. Because imagine for a moment if you never noticed that stimuli, you wouldn’t have thoughts about and in turn feel bad.

The other big thing is, get rid of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and the others. They are cancers; the more you can disconnect from that crap the more liberated and free you will feel. This is due to the fact that you won’t be having needed negative thoughts thrown on top of you, which will give you the inner space to be your happiness.

Think about that word for a moment: happiness -> happi iness -> happen in ess -> happen in us

Happiness, happens in us, so it can never be achieved through external means.

Go on then. Find your happiness and let it spark your creativity.

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 Posted on April 30, 2021 by

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Encountering Being

Hey hey hey, what’s up, It’s been another week and here we both are just existing. You know, I’ve been taking some time out of my day to just appreciate that fact. Too much of our time is spent listening to our own voice, not the one housed in our mouth but the one living in our heads.

We are plagued by our thoughts, they’re truly a corrupting force that does nothing but remind us of past pains or immobilises us with future worries. Worries… that more times than not, never come to reality. Why do we let this second voice speak over us so often, in fact all the time? Because we falsely assume it is us, we think that that stream of thought is the truth of our mind.

This is not the case, that voice is a phantom of the ego which taints your mental and spiritual energy. What do I mean, you may ask. Well, have you ever been lying in bed trying to fall asleep, maybe you have something important to do the next day, or maybe you don’t. But no matter what you try, you just lie there alert, sleep is being obstructed by a never-ending continuum of thoughts that keep you wired and awake. That is the power of thought, it robs you of what you want in the now.

You might try to argue, “Yes, but thought has done so much to further the human race, it has brought about medical breakthroughs and technological advancements beyond imagination, why would you want to get rid of it?”. But, thought also has given us machine guns, tanks, poison gas, manmade viruses and nuclear weapons; things which we would be hard pressed to call blessings.

I’m not saying you have to relinquish all thought from your life. No, what I’m saying is that you must learn to control it, otherwise it will conduct a rape of the mind within you. Rape of the mind, yes, that is the right term; thought forces itself on you without your consent and proceeds to control you, and so much more.

The solution is simple, and surprisingly easy after a bit of practice. It is time to learn to remove thought from your mind, be like a Zen master. So, here’s how you do it. All you have to do is ask yourself these three questions, the best part is the answers themselves don’t matter, just the fact that you asked them is enough.

Q1. Am I at ease? (Yes / No)

Q2. Am I currently present? (Yes / No)

Q3. I wonder what my next thought will be?

The crazy thing, is the first two questions make you present and the last one empties your mind of thought, you will be surprised at how long it will take before the noise of thought remerges in your mind, even on your first try. What is really cool, is the more you do it, the longer you can evade thought and be truly one with your Being.

This state of Being is where you will find your true creative voice and be able to realise the artistic vision that has always been inside you. Before it just didn’t have the mental silence to be heard.

Now go do it, and use it to aid your writing.

Till next week…

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 Posted on April 23, 2021 by

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April Pre-release: Keeping up with the Sullivans

The story for April is titled “Keeping up with the Sullivans”. Now I know what you might be thinking, did you just steal that name from Keeping up with the Kardashians? And the answer is no, I took the idea from the original saying “Keeping up with the Joneses”, which has to do with trying to keep up with appearances in the wider social setting. Oh shit I just realised that the Kardashian’s show gets its name from that saying too, that’s far out man.

I wrote this one quite a while back, what inspired it was a friend who shared a story with me about this time she had to babysit a bunch of kids. I can’t remember how we got onto the topic but I think we were discussing whether we wanted kids ourselves. I stated that I wanted four children, while she wanted none; I asked why, and her reason was her story about babysitting horrible rampaging kids.

Now I thought about it for a little while, and then came to the conclusion that what my friend had told me could work as the basis for a great story (great in my head at least). So, I laboured away writing the whole thing up, and turns out it wasn’t even that hard to write, it was one of the easier ones. 

Without getting too intellectual or high concept, I wanted to explore the effects of out of control kids on those around them and what seems like behaviour issues is more a copping mechanism. Or something like that, you know what I mean. 

Have a read and tell me what you think,

It will be coming out on Amazon and Kobo in the next couple of days, so be on the lookout.

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 Posted on April 19, 2021 by

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3 thoughts every writer must entertain… regularly

This week I had to deliver a presentation for this project I was assigned to work on. The content was essentially the outline of how I’m going to conduct my analysis for this study I’m involved in. Throughout the development of my slides and script in the days leading up to the presentation. There were countless changes and edits; the occasional direction shift, and I was starting to feel very unsure of myself and what I was going to present. But through perseverance and an attitude adjustment, I was able to pull the presentation and my perturbed mind into sync.

Now that the dust has settled, I’ve reflected and found that there were 3 lessons that I could take from this experience; that could be related back to writing. Yeah I know, you were probably wondering when I was gonna get back to that, you know the title of the damn post and all.

And I get it, honestly I do… but if you want gems; which I definitely have. Then you have to listen and understand me for a bit.

Ok then here you go, fleece me for everything I’ve got… Just like everybody else… Typical.

1.Practice:

Damn, this one is so under appreciated… like so many women out there, am I right ladies? Wooooo. But it goes without saying, practice makes perfect, and this is too true. So my script, when I had the original drafted, it felt so stiff and lacking any kind of natural flow. Stuck, I decided to book one of the meeting rooms in our building and just read my script out alongside the slide pack. I wasn’t aiming for any certain time goal or anything, I just read it aloud. After the first run, I felt an existential dejection, as I heard my inner mind think “You’re not cut out for this”. I had to take action fast before that thought could rule my future, the solution was to read it again. After the second run, I managed to clean up a wordy sentence and filled in an awkward silence with some quip to bridge one point to the next. With this ‘no second guess just do’ mindset, I rinsed off all the defects in my script and my performance, in fact I got to the point where I didn’t even need my notes; the speech was in me. (I did probably 15 run-throughs of the script in the end)

Let’s just say, my presentation rocked. There was no judging panel but if there was, they would have all given me tens; except for that judge who always plays hard to get, and only will ever go as high as a nine out of ten. One day I’ll get that coveted ten from them.

But what does this have to do with writing, uh… whatever. Nah seriously, the point is, I thought I wasn’t good enough to do an excellent presentation. I had made a value judgement about who I was and what I could do. But the reality was, there was nothing wrong with me, it was just that I hadn’t repeated the action enough times. So, when it comes to improving your writing, guess what, you’re gonna need to write.

If you say to yourself, my dialogue is bad, or my characters are dull and cliche or just that your writing is bad. Know that all those issues will disappear when you trust the process of constant perseverance in writing.

2.Gratefulness:

Gratefulness… sweet this point is simple but not always easy to implant into your habits. So like, you need to reset your mind. A lot of the time we doubt our writing and our choices in general, pair this with dissatisfaction from what we don’t have in life; and you’re in trouble. The only method to stop this and take the steps forward which are going to benefit you, is to ask yourself this question “What in my life am I currently grateful for?”. The answer to that question itself isn’t important, everyone will have different response. But the feeling this question gives you… game changer.

Oh and I’m not relating that back to writing, you’re smart, you’ll figure out gratefulness’ application. But if you can’t then you’re 100% gonna have difficulties with this final point.

3.Excitement:

Get excited NOW stupid. You just asked why you are currently grateful, which should have left you feeling satisfied and content. This is the moment we go that extra step. It’s time to ask yourself “Why should I be excited right now?”. The answer varies but trust me you will have one, this question works best when dealing with stressful situations, or times where you have to perform.

The purpose is to energise yourself, this will deplete any residual feelings of anxiety which block you from doing your best.

And you’re ready to flow

Now, that you have these tools, you should be set. But here’s another tip, the order I suggest using these thoughts in when it comes to something like writing is: Gratefulness, Excitement and then Practice. Oh my god, see what I did, I totally shmixed up the order from how I presented the information earlier. That’s how you know I’m a good wroter. Try telling me otherwise.

But in all honestly, give it a go, it couldn’t kill you, right? No seriously, I need an answer to that question in the comments below. And if you’re struggling to come up with something to write. Try my writing challenge from my previous post, link below:

chur

All the best for another week. Oh by the way, new story coming out in a few days, more info leaking soon.

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 Posted on April 16, 2021 by

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It’s time for some action

Well, well, well… another work week down and what a great feeling that is. This week has seen substantial development on my fourteenth writing project. I don’t want to lead you on with too many details about it, because it will be quite some time before it is ready. But what I am at liberty to say, is that it is forcing me to experiment with character traits and archetypes of human behaviour.

Something that is really enjoyable for me about my writing endeavour is that, I try not to let it get me down. I get the feeling from our culture’s media and from things I’ve heard people say, that they struggle to feel creative. I’m not saying I’m immune to those thoughts but I do feel that one can combat them, if you’re willing to set your mind to it. Like what I’m trying to say is, write for the sake of writing; I know some people won’t find that romantic but the reality is, your thoughts are your own. Nothing will be lost by writing something, anything; even if it is objectively awful. Like people who always have just the right thing to say at the right time, spend far too much time posturing. So, don’t let the white space on your page stifle your voice, your vision.

No one has gone through the things you have, no one. Then why let your wellspring of inspiration remain untapped. Try something with me… I mean if you’ve got what it takes.

  • First, start by writing a word (it doesn’t matter what, it could be the first thing that pops into your head)
  • Next, write a sentence using that word, it could be at the start, the end or anywhere in-between
  • Can you guess what comes after a sentence? Yep that’s right, a paragraph.
  • Now just keep going, until that ugly cocoon of a paragraph bursts into a beautiful butterfly of a page
  • Keep going until you can’t write anymore, then POST it below, I will read it and then we talk

Get it done!!! You’re capable.

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 Posted on April 9, 2021 by

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A Mighty Flame Followeth a Tiny Spark

Well here we are. This will be my first post on my brand new journey about my experience as a developing writer and creative. To give you context, I started writing short stories around about March of 2020. At first, it felt very strange to me to pick up an interest such as writing, mainly because I never really pictured myself as much of a writer. But I’m learning by heading down my own path of development that there are a lot of things I am, that not too long ago I wasn’t aware; kinda scary to wonder what else is down there in my subconscious, but won’t it be fun discovering it together?

Of course it will!!! And hopefully you’ll give me the opportunity and privilege to come to know you.

At this point you might be wondering, if I’m positioning myself as a writer, what do I actually write about? That, that changes from story to story; at first I categorised myself as a short story writer, but as I’ve progressed, those short stories have been getting longer, I hope you like content then. I originally wrote through the lens of a blend between Romance and Erotica but that has kind of shifted, I still do write in those spaces but I’ve gotten to a point where I’m experimenting with ideas and just letting it take me where it needs to go.

As of writing this, I already have four titles available for purchase on Amazon and Kobo, listed from earliest release to latest:

  • The Gilded Cage
  • Nightlife Pulse
  • Mergers & Acquisitions
  • Confessions at the Milk Bar

Amazon Store

Kobo Store

They are priced at the cost of a coffee, because breaking the bank is not what we’re about here.

In time, my creative offering to you will evolve, so let’s watch its changes together

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 Posted on April 3, 2021 by

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Jordan Hedi Productions

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