Charity

I feel that political and more in general, social discourse has gotten to the point where it is so toxic that no one can have a proper conversation anymore. I notice it with the whole climate change issue among many other matters.

Now I know people can and should have different points of view, humanity is not a monolith, and thank god for that. But these differing perspectives can create divides in society when in reality we are all in this together and should be looking for constructive ways to reach a compromise. I also acknowledge, taking the climate change issue as an example, that facts and realities do exist. Like if someone challenges the existence of gravity. I guess they can just go outside and drop an apple from a tree or something and try to explain what’s going on.

What I think discourse needs nowadays is a little bit of charity, I feel that the reason why so many people hold onto ridiculous and irrational viewpoints is that they feel no one is willing to trust them in the first place. So, what I’m suggesting is that you give people the benefit of the doubt in your conversations or arguments about ideas and issues, not saying you have to agree with them at the end of it all. But try to listen to them as well as you can hear them, it will go a long way into making them feel like you have actually acknowledged them and their ideas without prejudice.

You might argue that, why should I be charitable in the situation when they more than likely won’t be? And the thing is, you will need to be the one who takes the initiative to start the cycle, but the longer the cycle spins the greater the chance they will reciprocate. Also think about it, people within society have been conditioned to behave in a highly confrontational manner, one that doubts everything the other side says; so can you really expect the other person you are talking to, to act any other way? I mean maybe they can, but that would already make them reasonable, so it’s not like you would have been having too many unresolvable issues to start with.

The reason why I like this mentality is that it takes away a lot of the stress of the, “I’m right, their wrong” angle that tilts so many issues. And in turn you will be more able to detach yourself emotionally from issues and see things from a wider perspective, even if some of those perspectives are skewed or biased, in that case you will know more about why people believe what they do, and then how to counter that.

It’s just a thought.

Make me proud my Hedites, (you already do!!!)

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 Posted on September 17, 2021 by

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Rejection

Rejection, are you scared of it? Don’t feel too bad, most people are. But that doesn’t mean that it has to be that way, we can change the effect rejection has on us. It’s worth stating now, but it does take conscious effort to do though.

I think the best way to go about this today is to use a bit of my own experience from the past. We will have to go back to mid 2018, seems like a lifetime ago. So, to set the scene, I had just been accepted for the role as a Workflow Analyst for one of Australia’s biggest debt collectors; don’t look at me like that, I had just finished university and needed something. Now, I can’t really tell you what a Workflow Analyst is, still to this day I have no clue. I think it might be one of those vacuous titles that companies create when they have shit work that they want done but don’t want to scare potential unassuming job applicants.

Fast forward six months in that role and I was kind of in the mood to rotate out of the business and into something a lot less, hmmm unethical; I’m not joking, one of the tag-lines for the company was “providing a pathway to financial inclusion” and I didn’t see much of that going on. But the problem I was in, was as such, I was a recent graduate with six months of professional experience, not an easy sell as a new hire for a different company. However, I was determined to leave and I wasn’t going to quit and become unemployed, that would have made it harder. Oddly enough, it’s easier to find a new job if you are currently working as opposed to being unemployed, and it gets worse the longer you are unemployed. What a double whammy.

So, the mission I set myself was to work my job in the day, and then spend my afternoon and evenings applying for jobs online. This started an eleven month routine of applying to countless job ads, being assigned online aptitude test, potentially progressing to first round interviews and then maybe a shot at a final interview. At the height, I was probably doing anywhere from two to three interviews a week, it cost me my lunch break and sometimes I had to lie to my work about my whereabouts, just to keep things undercover. Luckily, after those eleven months I managed to secure a better job, this time working as a fraud analyst. I’ll say that I will at some point make a video about interviews and how to ace them but that won’t be for a little while as I already have a lot of videos lined up.

The point I wanted to get across was that what I did wasn’t easy and it required a sustained effort over time to get the outcome I wanted. So, we can now cover the managing of rejection. I got knocked back maybe hundreds of times, either by phone or by email. But how did I keep going? Two reasons.

Firstly, I would get excited after every rejection. I know that might sound strange but the fact is I was putting myself out there when in most cases, people would just keep their head down. That is something to be proud of, it takes guts to suspend your human instincts of avoiding rejection and negativity. But some times life is shit and the only person capable of changing that is you, and that current job was shit and worth the hassle to leave.

The second reason was that I gave myself a strong motivating purpose. I wanted to leave because I didn’t like the ethical practices going on and I wanted to be doing something less morally compromised. So, I applied for everything but it was almost like the universe read my mind, and gave me a job as an analyst trying to uncover financial defrauding of customers. But that big WHY went a long way in giving me the mental strength and will to carry on despite the constant knock backs.

Now my Hedites, this is only one example, but the general teachings can be applied in your lives, I’m sure of it. Realise when someone rejects you, not matter who they are, you aren’t going to be kicked out of the tribe and starve to death. We don’t live in jungle anymore… well a concrete jungle maybe. But you see my point.

Keep doing ya thang.

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 Posted on September 10, 2021 by

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Live Today

So this weeks’ post might seem like a bit of worn out information but I think it is something to reflect on regularly as it does contain truth.

Us human beings are result and goal oriented creatures who love to be rewarded when we accomplish a task. At least I know I do, maybe you feel the same. But it isn’t unusual to demonise ourselves when we falter and slip up for a moment. I don’t know why exactly, maybe we feel ashamed of ourselves or feel like we have let everyone else down.

These feelings don’t sit well with us and worst of all, can cause a response of inaction to present or future matters. I want with this post to remind myself and you that we are all human beings are none of us perfect. But despite that, we can still do incredible things, even if we go through bouts of self doubt or regret.

Something like this happened to me yesterday, I didn’t do any of my mindfulness or consciousness exercises, although I did meditate which was a small victory in of itself considering the circumstances. But I did get the nagging feeling like I didn’t do what I should have done and that made me feel bad. But writing to you now, I don’t feel the same way anymore, instead I appreciate the fact that I didn’t do all that I could have yesterday but that doesn’t stop me from getting it done today. I want you to read the next line below a couple of times until it sinks into your memory, or maybe put it into your quote book.

Don’t let yesterday’s failings rob the lustre of today.

Remember there are enough external judges out there in the world who will cast scathing sentences down on you, but don’t let your own mind be a persecutor against yourself; the reason why is, those external judges only have limited enough to base their decision, however you have the all information about yourself, so you can lay down the most brutal of judgements.

We all slip, we all fall, deciding to get up, is what moves mountains.

My Hedites, do not despair, keep on fighting the fight of your life, the tides will turn.

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 Posted on September 3, 2021 by

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Fame and Money

Pandemic Power

Yo what’s up, I know, I know… What the hell am I going to rabble on about this week, well I want to talk about the pandemic and the lockdowns that come with it.

So, I live in Sydney Australia and currently we are about 10 weeks into a statewide lockdown due to the Delta strain running wild. Now I’m not gonna bore you with all the details, because I am sure you can guess how it came about. But what I do want to talk about is what this pandemic can actually offer you.

Depending on where you live you might be in a lockdown too or at least facing some sort of restrictions on your movement, and I want you to think about how you use your time. Man, I ask that of you a lot in these posts don’t I? But dang, it’s a sure fire way to improve your life, being aware. Go figure.

This pandemic has cost people their job and added a hella amount of stress and worry but what I have realised being locked down for the first time (My state has avoided much of the COVID drama due to the fact that Australia is an island at the bottom of the globe, talk about luck of the draw), is that dang, it opens up so much extra time in my life.

Now I know people might say, “well you don’t have kids so you don’t have to manage those terrors at home” and that is true, but you being locked down or not doesn’t change the fact that if you have kids you have to manage major parts of their lives regardless. But now at least you aren’t having to waste your time in traffic, or in pointless meetings; well you probably still have to do pointless zoom meetings, but as least you can put yourself on mute and turn the camera off so that you can do things around the house at the same time. Put the dead air time of the day into good use.

Go forth and use the power of pandemic time to pick up a new skill, habit or talent. The one I chose was a new technique for my mindfulness routine in relation to managing my emotions and feelings (I will post a video in a couple weeks about it because I really like it and want to share it with you). I don’t know what your activity will be, only you can answer that (if you’re really struggling go back through my posts and find something to pick up), but make the most of this strange time to give yourself a gift which you will treasure post-pandemic. You deserve it.

You are all wonderful people, my Hedites.

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 Posted on August 27, 2021 by

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Goal Setting

Abundance, have you got it?

The funny thing is most people would say that they don’t, I find that strange. Even more so when you live in an advanced economy with all the luxuries of the modern world.

Conjecture here, but I feel that it edges on the truth, a whole lot of people fall into a scarcity mindset which limits them and their outcomes. I mean it’s kinda sad, and I think the COVID pandemic was a glaring reminder that many of us in society carry this sickness.

I can’t say what the experience was like for you so maybe you saw something different to what I did; but in Australia things got a little weird, borderline surreal. When the realities of the pandemic set in around about March and April of 2020, people got whipped up into a frenzy and started going on these hunts to hoard all sorts of products. Some examples included: toilet paper, mince meat, canned goods, cheap spaghetti pasta and the list goes on.

I mean it was crazy, store shelves which would never be empty or even have low supply during normal times were absolutely striped bare. People were so desperate and clamouring for these goods that there were a few instances of fights breaking out amongst customers, videos are somewhere online if you want to find them, type in “Woolworths toilet paper fight” into youtube if you’re interested. It got so bad that the supermarkets themselves put strict limits on the number of these products people could buy.

Now you might be thinking, that there could have been a rush for everything in the store as people panic bought. However, that was not the case, the fresh food section among others was completely full like normal and I watched on in good humour. I mean how couldn’t you think it was funny? You have these sanctuaries full of food and homeware products, while other countries have difficulty feeding their population and people are fighting over toilet paper and pasta. Blows my mind.

And that’s the point I want to get across to you aujourd’hui. That acknowledging the good that already exists in your life is the foundation for all abundance.

So maybe the toilet paper runs out. Okay crazy thought here, but you can wipe with your hand can’t you; now people might say that that is gross and unhygienic, but you more than likely have that bacteria killing substance called soap right? Please tell you have soap. Like in India that’s how people go to the toilet, they wipe with their left hand, that’s just how it is when it comes to having no toilet paper. Next, no mince meat, dang I guess a banana or apple will have to do. No cheap pasta, well you might just have to buy rice, actually that was the funny thing; cheap pasta was all gone but there was an abundance, omg that word again, of rice.

And if all else fails and there is nothing left to buy. Just being thankful that things like plumbing and supermarkets exist is something to contemplate. Maybe they might not have anything now, but what about tomorrow?

I don’t have an exact exercise or technique to share with you, but just being mindful of all you do have is the key to realising that the world and the abundance it has to offer is always there, you just have to look for it.

Stay breezy my Hedites.

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 Posted on August 20, 2021 by

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The one time you should stay up all night

Okay, today’s lesson and exercise is a great way to build a sense of personal understanding of yourself. This technique does require you to block out a day but I promise you it will be worth it.

So what are you going to be doing? Well, it’s quite simple really, you’re going to stay up all night just like you used to when you were in your youthful party days. Actually, not exactly like your youthful party days. But at least this time, you won’t wake up with a hangover or any pointless regrets.

I usually suggest that you should be reading instead of watching television or scrolling through social media. However, this time you won’t be doing that. No, I don’t want you reading, watching television, scrolling or talking to anyone. Yes, that’s right, not even talking to anyone; I know that might seem harsh but it is supposed to radically restrict yourself to just the goings on in your head.

What you will do, is sustain yourself with a little bit of food (maybe a soup or some other light meal) and abstain from alcohol. Then simply go inside yourself, find that tranquil silence that lies below, write down your thoughts and when the time finally comes, step outside and watch the sunrise. Treat the experience like a vacation, but a vacation inside yourself.

It’s worth noting that since you will lose a night’s sleep, it is worthwhile to carefully plan the experience. Look ahead to the next two months or so and choose a date that allows you the time to do this. If you say you don’t have the time, stop lying to yourself. If you can’t find one day in the next couple months, either you are the busiest person on the planet, which means someone should study you to see the limits of human capabilities. Or the more likely scenario, that you are like other people and trying to make cheap excuses. Who are you in this case?

This type of introspection allows you to see yourself from an angle that you never really consider, one that is free from schedules and deadlines, no responsibilities from your roles as parent, spouse and so on. You’re all alone with you, what a rare experience that is these days.

Don’t stress about the losing sleep, you’ve got a whole lifetime to catch up on that.

Like always if you have any topics or questions you want me to answer, drop them in the comments or message directly.

Chin up my Hedites.

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 Posted on August 13, 2021 by

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Quotes of significance

I don’t want to feel this anymore

Stop for a moment and think about your actions and why do you do them. What is the main reason why you do what you do from moment to moment? You might come up with a whole range of possible answers but the one thing that I can almost guarantee will link all of them is, the desire to change what you are feeling right now.

Take for instance your actions after a hard day’s work, what might someone do? Classic behaviour I observe is that they will sink into the couch, turn on the TV, maybe pour themselves a glass or two of wine, or more likely leave finish the whole bottle. And to top it off it, they will pull out the cake icing mix or a tub or ice cream for a couple scoops. Now I’m not saying you do these things, but you can see that many people would fall into this category. And more problematic, is that difficulty at work isn’t the only reason why people get caught up in these things, there are endless reasons why.

But take notice that those actions are about changing their current state or feeling. And unfortunately the pain that is causing them to have that desire to alter their mood hasn’t changed and will still remain within. This is due to the fact that suffering doesn’t diminish just because we have pushed it to the outskirts of minds and tried to make it unconscious.

This examination into the coping that people do with their troubles can seem gloomy but don’t fear it. Since that would be turning away from it, and that never works and trust me when I say that there is always a way through it.

So how do we get through it? Well, we face it that’s how. Give all of your attention to the pain not to the event, person or situation that you think caused you to feel that way. Don’t let your mind write a script as to why you are a victim. Take the time to allow your being to be washed by the pain inside of you. Your full attention will create full acceptance within yourself, and this will allow you to survive it without trapping yourself in coping strategies that harm you.

How does this attention dispel that negatively in your life? Well, think of it like this, when you don’t give full attention and acceptance to your feelings it’s like eating only half of a meal then putting the leftovers in the fridge to rot. If you do that over a lifetime, your “fridge” will be full of all these half eaten meals that you left to develop mould which will in turn take up space that could be used for something else. As well as it will have a corrosive effect on your character because you will be holding onto all these half eaten pains.

Remember that full attention creates presence, and presence removes time from the equation. Without time, no suffering or negativity can survive within you.

As an exercise this week, I want you to investigate what you do when you are faced with hardship in your life and then think about if those feelings were to erupt again. What could you do to develop attention towards those feelings instead of retreating into the tub of ice cream. My thing is to use mediation to focus my mind and body, if you come up with something else, please write in it in the comments as I myself am always on the hunt for new methods.

Live a lifetime of love my Hedites.

Peace.

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 Posted on August 6, 2021 by

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Reading

Temptations

Temptations come in all shapes and sizes throughout our lives and learning to deal with them in a constructive manner can be a challenge sometimes. So, that’s why it is important to develop a tool kit that assists you in those times of crisis. Now let’s add a technique you can use whenever you have a moment like that.

This technique is something I picked up from reading a book called Focus by Daniel Goleman, and I’ve been playing around with it and found good results. To give even more clarity, it wasn’t Goleman who came up with this idea but it was discovered by a bunch of researchers who were studying short term gain over long term gain mindsets and behaviours.

In the experiment, and you may have already heard of it but stay with me here; the researchers sat a child in an empty room with no stimuli and then put a marshmallow on the table in front of the child, hmmm tasty marshmallow. Then the researcher told the child that if they resisted the urge to eat the marshmallow they would receive two marshmallows instead of just the one if they waited for the researcher to run an errand. Many children managed to hold out while others succumbed to their temptations and ate the marshmallow that was sitting right there on the table.

This might seem all like a bit of nonsense but what the researchers found was that the children who waited the fifteen minutes employed a novel strategy to do so. What it involved was so simple it is actually kind of genius; what the children did was they imagined that there was a picture frame around the marshmallow. Now, you might be thinking what the hell would that do, well by observing the marshmallow as a painting instead of a tasty treat, they managed to nullify the want in their minds.

So, this is what I suggest you do. Let’s say for instance that you want to give up smoking cigarettes but as you try to, you develop the cravings from the withdrawals. Well, just picture yourself smoking and then put a frame around it, and just contemplate that image for a while. You’ll find that the cigarettes lose a lot of their attractiveness, I’m not saying completely but at least enough for you to flex your willpower.

This, like all my techniques I share, isn’t an all in one fix, you might have to combine this strategy with others you already use to overcome your bad habits. But an extra addition to your arsenal can’t hurt.

And if you have any issues or questions you want me to cover, comment them down below!

Be seeing you all soon my Hedites.

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 Posted on July 30, 2021 by

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Jordan Hedi Productions

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